


Call me Rufus

by mediasploshion



Series: break deponia [3]
Category: Deponia (Video Games)
Genre: Mistaken Identity, Other, cletus can only be sane for so long while being forced to be called rufus, decent to madness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediasploshion/pseuds/mediasploshion
Summary: Cletus still has to dress up like Rufus





	1. The facade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cletus still has to dress up like Rufus

Three days, it had been three days now since Cletus had returned to Elysium. It had also been three days that he had to keep pretending to be Rufus. Goal was relentless in making sure Cletus kept up the act. He hadn't understood why she kept doing this yet, but he had his suspicions. Perhaps this was just his punishment for attempting to cross her so many times while on Deponia. Whatever the reason could have been it didn't make the experience any less grating. Cletus had to continue acting like a buffoon with eccentric ideas that made no sense even to himself. He had to wear those horrid clothes Rufus always wore and seemed to have never washed once. He constantly felt filthy. He only had one safe place now to throw the facade away and truly be Cletus, his own home. No one there to ask him idiotic questions about Deponia, or what new plan he may have to help Elysium stay in the sky and reach Utopia. He could just do as he pleased with no one to stop him.

Cletus just enjoyed some truffles in his own company and clothes, he very much needed comfort food in these trying times. For now anything outside the door didn't exist. He only enjoyed about an hour of peace before more random people started wailing on the door to meet the famed Deponian to ask a thousand questions. It had become a regular thing now and Cletus was beyond sick of it. Instead of answering the door he fled to his bedroom and hoped they would just assume the Deponian wasn't home. After a few minutes that was the case and Cletus found peace once again. Once in his room though Cletus saw his mirror hanging on the other wall and looked at himself. He looked tired, with small patches of dirt still littering his perfect complexion. It was a horrid sight that Cletus felt the need to correct immediately. He went for a good bath then and a nice nap, he'll look like his perfect self again once he wakes up.


	2. Forgive me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cletus just wants Goal to acknowledge he exists

Now it had been a full week of living the constant lie. Cletus was left mentally exhausted having to keep up the act for so long. Even now he was given no break as Goal was around and she seemed to refuse to acknowledge the real Cletus. He had quickly grew tired of it. Time and time again he had tried to get her to quit enforcing this facade and failed, but this time he wouldn't be ignored.

"So Rufus I think we should go back to the elders tomorrow and talk more about that dragon plan you had. It's almost turning out to be a good one."

"Goal enough of this."

"hmm, what's wrong Rufus?"

"Stop calling me that! You know fully well that I'm Cletus so why must you keep doing this?"

"Oh don't be silly. Cletus was left in the rotor on the high boat. I only pulled you out Rufus." 

Goal spoke matter-of-factly and had her usual smile, as if what she said was all the truth and the man in front of her was just spewing nonsense. It only angered Cletus further. He refused to be forced into this lie anymore.

"Rufus is dead! I am Cletus! Enough of this nonsense at once! I'm not going to be playing this role anymore so you can cut the act as well."

Goal's expression and tone quickly turned more cold.

"So you also wish then for everyone to know that you wished to commit genocide behind everyone's back? That you have been lying from the very beginning? Is that what you wish?" Cletus was stunned for a bit from the sudden tone shift and threats.

"... what are you saying? You're going to say all of that if I be myself?"

"Yes. You've done horrible things Cletus. You've lied and betrayed on multiple occasions. You've tried your hardest to accomplish mass genocide against the Deponians. You even tried to leave a part of me for dead on Deponia. I'm livid with you Cletus."

"Goal ... most of that was all because of your father. He threatened to kill me if I didn't keep things a secret."

"Yet you still had opportunities to go against him and return to Elysium to speak of the Deponians but you brushed all of them aside. You can't shift the blame here. On that rotor I saved Rufus. You've been lying long before this, you can continue to do so now."

"... so this really is a punishment then?"

"Yes, now ... I think it's about time I head home, I will see you tomorrow Rufus."

Goal's expression returned to the happy one she had earlier as she strolled out the door. So Cletus' suspicions had been right. This is Goal forcing a punishment on Cletus for the horrid things he did and tried to do. He so badly wanted to just return to being his old self but he knew that if he did so and Goal spoke of the full truth, then his reputation would be ruined forever. He could have even been thrown back to Deponia. Cletus could never risk something like that, so he had no other choice but to keep lying.


	3. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what did Cletus see in the mirror?

Just a month after returning to Elysium and Cletus felt practically nothing else but mental exhaustion. Keeping up the act for so long took a mental toll on him. He had slowly turned into a hermit just so he could have some peace and be himself. On days when he had been forced out of the house he would do his best to leave the situation as soon as possible. Then after he'd return home he would heavily scrub himself down in a bath as anytime now he was forced to wear those awful clothes he just felt absolutely filthy. Cletus would feel raw sometimes after he had stepped out of the bath as he would go a bit overboard with the scrubbing. He just needed to do anything to feel clean again. One day he even noticed that he had scrubbed so hard that he bled and immediately stopped. He wanted his perfect complexion back, not to remove his skin.

On most days he would just lay in bed, refusing to get up for anything except for food and the bathroom. Only the sounds of soft music drowning out the silence in the room and the static in his head.

Over the days Cletus had also payed less and less attention to any mirrors. He grew to dislike more and more whatever stared back at him in his reflection, finding it more and more disgusting. One day though as he had returned home and walked by the mirror in the hall he did a double take as he swore he saw something else in the mirror. Or more like someone else. He gazed into the mirror and rubbed his eyes to make sure his mind had just played a trick on him. For a moment he swore he saw the real Rufus walk by in the reflection. Though the two were clones, genetically identical to each other, they still had plenty of differences to each other. The way they dressed, talked, even the way they wore their shared face. They were so different before, but now that line of differences was growing thinner every day, and it made Cletus sick to his stomach. He took the mirror down and quickly changed clothes and tried to distract himself from the minor thought.


	4. Slipping away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he cletus, or is he rufus?

Every mirror had been taken down or covered up. Cletus couldn't stand to look at them anymore. He couldn't stand seeing his reflection, seeing  _Rufus'_ reflection. He knows fully well that he is Cletus but his mind just distorted his reflection every time now. It could no longer register the man in the mirror as Cletus anymore. All it saw was Rufus.

Cletus had tried to plea for this lie to end so many times now, but Goal still threatened to ruin everything for Cletus. At this point he believed that wouldn't be such a bad thing anymore. Just anything to get all of this to end.

The worst of it wasn't even the wrong reflection, it was his voice. For the past week Cletus could swear he heard that old moronic laughter, that same egotistical boastfulness, the same horrid singing voice doing countless jingles. He could hear Rufus' voice. Cletus would blare any sort of noise now just to not be lost in the silence but ever so faintly he could still hear that voice. It drove him mad.

Cletus would try to just sleep the days away, to slip into a false reality in his dreams to hopefully get him out of this growing hellscape. But even his dreams seemed to just turn to horrid nightmares. Every single aspect of his life, of his little reality in his room, seemed to revolve solely around Rufus now.

At first this drove Cletus to tears and made him shout 'I am Cletus!' at the top of his lungs to keep a grip on reality. But as the days passed and this horrid reality became his norm those habits quickly died. Now Cletus was just left in his bed. Motionless. Just constantly repeating in his head 'I am Cletus' throughout the day to remind himself of what the truth is.


	5. Who am I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm stuck here with the man in the mirror

No one had seen or heard anything about 'Rufus' for about a week. Cletus had locked himself away in his room. People grew concerned and tried to check up on him, but the door remained locked and he never dared to answer the door. Even Goal grew a bit concerned now, perhaps her punishment had gone on for long enough. Or even too long.

That horrid voice only grew louder and much worse. Before it could only repeat things Cletus had heard Rufus say before, but now it could say anything. No matter what Cletus did, in the back of his mind he always heard that retched voice.

_Rufus the hero, finally getting what I deserve._

Cletus just remained in bed under several blankets. At this point he stopped caring about how his appearance looked. He didn't care how much of a mess he must have looked.

_And a hero should always look his best, let's see what I look like, come on._

He tried his best to ignore the little voice but eventually Cletus was convinced to slump out of bed and step to the only mirror left in the house, which was in the bathroom. For only a few moments he could register the reflection as himself before he believed it to be only Rufus' reflection. He was a complete and utter mess. He seemed paler than usual, bags under his eyes, hair in dissaray. His eyes seemed to also not be able to focus on anything. Cletus was looking at the mirror but it seemed more like he was looking through the mirror into pure nothingness.

_Yeesh I really let myself go. Well come on you bag of bones, the Rufster needs to look better than this._

"... I-I am Cletus." He needed to stop and remind himself yet again what reality was, who he was. Reality just slipped further and further away each day though and now it seemed the reflection was even moving on it's own.

_You still believe that? Come on quit playing around with a lie._

"you're the lie here. You only exist because I'm going mad."

_I exist because I'm you dummy. We're Rufus, realize that already._

"I'm Cletus damn it! Just leave me be for once!"

_You can't just run from yourself Rufus._

"I am not Rufus!"

_oh really? Then who are you?_

"I'm ... I am ... I-I'm ..."

The reflection started to move in sync with Cletus again as his mind went blank. The world spun around him. He felt he could almost collapse from the dizziness. He held onto the sink counter to keep his balance and he continued to stare into the mirror. His previous thoughts began to slip away, no longer knowing what he thought about moments ago. Many memories began to slip away from him. The only one he could recall at the moment being the question his delusion asked him moments ago, 'then who are you?' He focused on that question for a long time until he answered.

"... Rufus."


	6. You're Cletus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goal regrets her choices

Another week had passed and Cletus was out and about again, seeming a bit more cheerful than before. It was a good sight to see after hearing nothing from him for the past few days. Goal was more than relieved to see him outside his home again. Though she couldn't help but notice some strange new habits with Cletus. He seemed to be even more into his role than before. It was quite surprising really. But no matter, as he won't be forced to keep it up any longer. Goal decided to pay him a nice visit at home then and Cletus was beaming to see her.

"Goal! Man it's so good to see you."

"Well that's very nice to hear. And I have some good news for you."

"Are we going on a date?"

"Oh now don't be ridiculous Cletus. I won't force you to keep pretending now. I think you've gone long enough with your punishment."

"Punishment, what are you talking about?"

"Forcing you to keep pretending to be Rufus of course. You can also stop mimicking his voice."

"Pretending? I am Rufus though."

"Ok very funny Cletus. But really it's alright now."

"Goal, Cletus died on the rotor on the highboat. You saved me."

"come on now, enough games."

"I'm not joking here."

Goal stood there for a moment, trying to figure out just what Cletus was trying to do. She then started to notice little differences with Cletus, like how he seemed to slouch more ... just like Rufus. The way Cletus held himself, the way he talked, not even only in pitch but vocabulary as well. Goal had made a small realization and prayed that it wasn't true.

"well then ... why do you live here then hmm?"

"The elders gave me this place, duh."

"No you've lived here for years. Cletus will you snap out of it already."

"maybe you should go lay down or something. You're not making any sense."

"you're the one that's not making sense here. Cletus please I'm sorry for forcing you to do this for so long. I should have let it stop much sooner. Even if you did try to do horrible things you were blackmailed into them and didn't go through with any of it. So will you please stop playing around now?"

Cletus just kept looking at her worried and confused. With being forced to be known as Rufus for so long his mind finally snapped and accepted that as reality. Many memories were gone and fake ones were filled in to fill all the gaps. Cletus was gone, only Rufus remained. Goal kept trying to convince him to cut the act but nothing worked as this was no longer an act. She soon felt awful for doing this to Cletus. She only meant to punish him a bit, not lose Cletus. It wasn't long until Goal was crying. Cletus tried to comfort her but she left as being around the man she broke was the last thing she needed right now.

She wanted to get Cletus some help, to try and get the real him back. But anytime she brought it up he refused and any time she tried to do it sneakily Cletus would figure it out and just get mad. It seemed that she was just too late. 

Cletus was gone.


	7. Crash

As the months went by Cletus fell more and more into his delusions. His brain creating more and more fake memories. Only Goal knew of the horrible things that went on inside his head. Her only solace for this situation was that Cletus did seem happy in his delusions, but that still didn't make them ok. But then one day everything got much worse.

It had been a year since Cletus returned to Elysium, and now it had come crashing down into the surface of Deponia. The force of the impact and all the rubble that flew around made Cletus fall unconscious and get a fairly large gash in the side of his head. He was left bleeding but luckily not at a fast enough rate to fully bleed out just yet. Goal along with some other Elysians that weren't trapped under rubble made their way to the nearest town to ask for help. A small rescue team returned to try and free anyone that they could. Cletus was found but almost left behind as at first glance he seemed dead but luckily whoever found him soon saw he was still breathing and pulled him out.

Any survivors found were dragged back to town and looked over. Cletus was given bandages for his head and a splint for his leg as it seemed to have been broken as well. He was left unconscious for hours until his eyes began to twitch open. As he finally awoke he looked around the room and saw the other people being treated and wrapped up. He didn't understand his surroundings. He had absolutely no idea where he was or how he got there. He soon even began to realize he didn't even know who he himself was. The blunt force trauma of the impact must have given him amnesia.

Goal was looking over someone else when she saw Cletus was finally awake and rushed over to him. "oh thank goodness you're ok."

Cletus was a bit surprised to see this strange woman approach him like that and be so enthusiastic. Though yes it's a good thing to be ok, it still didn't cause for that much joy. He wasn't even fully ok. He has a splitting headache and he can barely feel his leg.

"Ok may not be the right term, and excuse me but who are you?"

"... Cletus, it's me, Goal."

"So my name is Cletus?"

Goal's joy was taken away and soon replaced with confusion. At least she took his reaction to her seriously and knew something was wrong.

"... do you remember how you got here, or how you got hurt, or anything?"

"no, I suppose you do though?"

"yes. We lived in a floating city that came crashing down because we no longer had fuel. You were found unconscious trapped under some rubble and brought back here."

Goal tried to answer any questions Cletus had and he seemed to have plenty. Where they were, who Goal was, who Cletus was, how they knew each other. Goal told him everything, except anything involving Rufus. She just had an awful feeling that if she told him who Rufus was, then Cletus would return to his delusions. She was also very happy to see that with the amnesia Cletus had seemed to return to his old ways. Oddly enough she almost missed his complaining.

All the information Cletus was getting though was already becoming enough at least for now. His head was throbbing and it became hard to think too hard on the new information. He just layed back down to rest.

As the day went on and more Elysians were found it was becoming clear that soon there would be a homelessness problem if people didn't start taking the Elysians in. Someone from city hall then came in and made the announcement that all the survivors would be taken in by someone from town. It would first be given up to free choice so at least no one would feel like they would be forced to live with people they disliked. Citizens then came in to visit and meet everyone. Cletus of course didn't want to just be stuck living with just anyone, he was picky of who got to take him. But at one point a nice young woman stopped by to greet everyone and see who she could take home. She soon approached Cletus.

"Hi there, I'm Winonah, you can call me Winny if you want. What's your name?"

"Cletus, I suppose you're here to see who to take home."

"Yep, and so far you seem to be a nice pick. How about telling me a little bit about yourself?"

"I can't say much, I've been concussed and given amnesia."

"oh you poor thing I'm so sorry to hear that."

The two chat for a bit and Winonah tells more about herself. How she's a kindergarten teacher, is an only child, had three cavities filled. She may have been oversharing a bit but Cletus still found her company nice. After some consideration he decided he's fine with moving in with her. He was given crutches the next day and moved in after hobbling over to her house.

This seemed to be the start of a new life for Cletus with a nice blank slate.


End file.
